What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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