Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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