I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
