We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
