One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
