Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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