I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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