escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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