Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
