i just made my gag reflex go away.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
