I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
