I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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