At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
