fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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