dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
