And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
