kristin has been a bad kristin
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
