I want to have your abortion
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
