There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
