Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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