I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Dick very happy bro
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
