Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
