I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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