Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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