I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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