This girl is more easily done than said...
...so i touched it.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
