come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
