that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize