new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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