hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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