I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
