I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
