the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
tell me about the fingering
Randomize