he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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