I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize