Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
