i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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