Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize