STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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