Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
