operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
