but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
