Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
