I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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