After last night, I could never be a politician.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
