The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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