Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
