if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
