nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
