she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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