I got chris browned last night
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
