Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize