So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
