pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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