i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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