Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
we made out on top of his cat.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Randomize
