grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
