I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize