this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I stole a fireplace last night.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize