pedialite and red bull = repair kit
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
