1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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