Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My dick has a subreddit
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
