It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
