your thong is hanging out like whoa
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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