We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
