it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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